As you may remember I am a huge fan of Reality TV. I watch several Reality TV shows from Storage Wars and Big Brother to Survivor and The Real Housewives. Last Saturday as I watched an episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County I started thinking “Would I be happy if I didn’t have to work and if I could stay at home all day?”
With that thought in mind I ask you DINKS; could you be a housewife or a kept man? I know that the idea of not having to work and having access to money is a very tempting though, but if you didn’t have to work what would you do all day?
Being a Housewife: A fair exchange?
There are several different branches of The Real Housewives series in cities such as New York, New Jersey, Orange County, Beverly Hills and Atlanta. The business of being a housewife is that the woman is expected to stay home and take care of the house and children; in exchange the husband buys them everything that they want.
On The Real Housewives reality TV shows it appears as though the women are just another piece of property that the husband owns. In many cases the wives are told what to do, how to act, and how to look by their husbands. Whenever the wife does something good the husband showers her with luxurious gifts. What is the cost of being a housewife? These women have to look a certain way, act a certain way which is usually submissive, and talk a certain way which is usually not at all because they are not educated. Even if they did speak or have ideas their opinions are not valued by their husbands. I don’t know about you, but I could not live like that, even for all of the money in the world.
Being a Housewife: Exploitation?
Some of the women on The Real Housewives of Orange County, The Real Housewives of New York City, and The Housewives of New Jersey do have jobs, but many of the wives just stay home all day to take care of the children and clean the house. There was an episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey when one of the cast members said that her husband prefers when she is pregnant and in the kitchen. What does that mean? I would be incredibly insulted if my husband only thought that I was good for procreation and providing food.
There was an episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County when one of the cast members said that her job is to take care of her husband and her kids. I am sorry but why does a grown man need to be taken care of? This cast member never refers to her children as their kids; she always refers to them as her kids. Actually her husband doesn’t even know how to change diapers. Where is the partnership in that marriage?
Being a Housewife: Gold digger and Spoiled?
Are housewives just lazy and spoiled women who chose to marry a rich man who can take care of them financially instead of actually working for their own money? I am by no means a marriage expert because I am not married; however I am familiar with the concept of an equal relationship. Both my boyfriend and I pull our own weight in our relationship. It is very clear that I don’t work for him, we are equals.
My idea of a housewife is a woman who does not work at an office, she works at home. A housewife cooks and cleans and takes care of her kids. If this is the definition of a housewife isn’t every family woman in America who has kids a housewife in some way? Just because you have a job doesn’t mean that women neglect their kids, their home, and their husband. Being a housewife is not a job, it is just the normal duties of every mother and wife across America. So, if a wife is being paid to take care of her home and her children isn’t she just the maid? And if a wife is being paid to take care of her husband isn’t she just a prostitute?
Photo by Stevendepolo
Kristina Tahnyak
Tahnya is a Certified Financial Planner and former Investment Advisor turned marketing and communications professional She holds a degree from Concordia University, is debt free and currently works in the field of digital marketing.
I’m a househusband and I quite like it. Granted, we’re retired, so it’s not like this is typical. But my wife volunteered at our church and that has turned into a fullish time job. So, to take up the slack I make breakfast and lunch, do the shopping, laundry, dishes and assorted other domestic tasks. Of course, I’m not actually doing the work – we have machines for all of that. But I’m the guy feeding the machines and taking back what they surrender (minus of course the socks the dryer seems to consider its reward. Why any machine would view a sock of mine as a reward is of course a mystery.)
In all, it’s not a bad deal at all. There are times of busy-ness and times of quiet, so I get to do what I like doing, which is hanging out with friends and doing a little investing and blogging. As Sophie would say on the Golden Girls, what’s not to like?
If I had known this thirty years ago and my wife could have earned what I earned, I would have loved this life. Ego, schmego. Well, better late than never, I guess… :)
Oh, I forgot to add – the notion that someone would even CONSIDER me a gold digger and spoiled is just delicious. That possibility is just pregnant with potential. Our next games night with friends will not be the same…
On a serious note: we have several friends with kids who have made the lifestyle choice for mom to stay home to care for and (in some cases) home school those kids. Several of them have graduated college by now and looking back those decisions have in each and every case paid off hugely. Those kids got a head start no money can buy. That may not be typical, but for each of those families it is real… and very, very good.
You really shouldn’t take your view of reality from “reality” television. Your article is both offensive and ignorant.
Taking care of a home and a family is a full time job plus more. Families who have two working parents have to rely on family members or paid helpers in order to do all the work that a stay at home mother does. Have you ever seen a daycare bill? These services don’t come free. For older children, whose parents are both working the duty of monitoring them after school hours often gets dropped off, often with less than desirable results.
On a personal level, I couldn’t see myself finding fulfillment in being a housewife. However, I applaud those who do choose it, and I applaud single mothers who have to try to balance it all even more.
Shame on DINKS for publishing this garbage article.
Um, I think the idea is that it is an exchange. The woman exchanges her labor and the man brings home income.
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