Man holding his head with his hands. He looks perplexed.

My husband and I are firmly entrenched in midlife. We’ve been married for over 20 years, and by most accounts, we’re successful. My husband and I have a nice home, two cars, and jobs we enjoy. However, lately, we’ve felt an uneasiness about our lives. We couldn’t place why for a while, but after some reflection, we’ve discovered the biggest mistake we’ve made in our lives.

What Started Our Unease

Our parents are getting older, and we realize they won’t be around in another decade or two. That naturally caused us to look at our mortality and remaining limited time on Earth. When you’re in your twenties and thirties, you have a long life ahead of you, and you have time to put off things “until life settles down” or “until you’re more financially secure.” When you’re in your forties and fifties, you realize the time for putting things off until later is over. Now is the time to do it.

The Biggest Mistake We’ve Made in Our Lives

As my husband and I discussed how we were feeling, we realized the biggest mistake we’ve made in our lives is not making concrete plans for the life we want to live.

For instance, we both say we want to travel, and we have traveled to many places in the United States, but we’ve only traveled together internationally to Japan. We still have time to travel, but as I learned from reading Die with Zero, there will come a time, likely around 70, when we won’t want to travel anymore. We should complete the travel we want to in the next 20 to 25 years.

We’ve also said that we want to be comfortable financially, but we haven’t explicitly stated what “comfortably” means.

How We Plan to Remedy This Mistake

A village in Norway

We’ve decided to sit down together and map out specific goals. We want to travel to Italy, Norway, and Australia. But that isn’t enough. Instead, we also need to determine specifically when we want to travel; for instance, we plan to travel to Norway by June 2026. Then, once we’ve nailed down the place and time, we need to make a plan to pay for the trip. How much do we think it will cost? How do we plan to save money?

We’ll also have to determine what financially comfortable means to us. How much money is in savings? In retirement? And then, we’ll need to set specific goals to get to that “comfortable” point.

Final Thoughts

If we could go back in time, I would make concrete plans for my life. Then, we could have used our money for big, audacious goals rather than piddling it away going out to eat too often, and buying stuff we don’t care about in the big scheme of life. However, now that we’ve recognized the biggest mistake we’ve made in our lives, we still have time to remedy the situation and make the second half of our lives memorable and satisfying.

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Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her reading a good book, cooking, or traveling. She resides in New York where she loves the natural beauty of the area.


This entry was posted in Couples and tagged , , by Melissa Batai. Bookmark the permalink.

 About Melissa Batai

Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her reading a good book, cooking, or traveling. She resides in New York where she loves the natural beauty of the area.

MANAGE YOUR MONEY TOGETHER

Here are some simple guidelines for DINKS to build wealth:

1) Collaborate: Meet regularly to talk about money, set goals together, track and monitor them.

2) Understand and respect your partner. Take time to understand your partners values about money.

3) Watch the numbers. Get a budget, monitor your spending and track your net worth.

4) Max your retirement. Maximize contributions to your tax deferred retirement accounts.

5) Invest in stock. Stocks perform better than bonds or cash.

6) Avoid high interest debt. Credit cards and title loans are financial cancer.

7) Diversify. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

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