My husband and I have been married for more than 20 years, but we’ve never both worked full-time. Instead, only one of us works full-time, and the other works part-time. Although that might seem unusual, for us, it works.
Our Work History
When we married, I worked full-time at a community college, and he went to graduate school. I often had to bring work home and frequently worked 60+ hours. When I wasn’t working, I was exhausted from my busy week.
For the last ten years, my husband has worked full-time, often 60+ hours a week, and I work part-time as a freelance writer.
Why Only One of Us Works Full-Time
There are several reasons why this arrangement works for us.
The Load
When I worked full-time, my husband picked up the slack. Since he had a more flexible, less intense schedule, he often had dinner ready when I came home and did the laundry.
Now that he has a hectic schedule and a demanding job, I handle most of the household chores. I cook the meals on the weekdays, do the laundry, take care of scheduling workers for household repairs, pay the bills, create the budget, etc. He doesn’t have time to do all of these things. Because I can, he has more time to focus on his work.
Flexible Schedule
Because I work from home part-time, my schedule is flexible. For example, when my husband recently went to Philadelphia for a work conference, I was able to tag along. While he worked, I got to tour the city, and we could spend time together in the evenings. If I worked full-time at a traditional job, I would not be able to do this.
Likewise, when I worked full-time, my husband often traveled to my work conferences with me. Being able to do this gives the working spouse support and the other spouse a free vacation.
More Time to Spend Together
While the other reasons only one of us works full-time are convenient, the most significant reason we live this way is that we have more time to spend together on the weekends. Currently, my husband works all day and often works for several hours when he comes home at night.
If we both worked full-time, we would be able to spend time together only on the weekends, but we would have to use that time for the things I do for us during the week like cooking, paying the bills, doing household chores, and cleaning, etc. However, because I have the flexibility to do those things on the weekdays, we have the weekend open to spend time together doing fun activities like going to a concert or a festival or just taking a road trip.
Final Thoughts
These are the reasons why only one of us works full-time. True, our arrangement means we’re not as financially successful as DINKS who both work full-time. However, this agreement let’s us prioritize spending time together despite one spouse’s demanding work schedule.
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Melissa Batai
Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her reading a good book, cooking, or traveling. She resides in New York where she loves the natural beauty of the area.
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