It’s Not About Money, It’s About Values

Here is a quick thought.

A major cause of conflict in marriages is money. However, an important factor to remember is that most issues around money, aren’t really about the money at all. Instead what people are having conflict around is aligning different value systems each person brings into the relationship.

So, when a couple is having conflict around budgeting or the like, what is happening is they are actually trying to reconcile the different values that each person brought into the relationship. The values are important, and in a lot of cases asking your partner to give up their fundamental values is a non-starter. It won’t happen. It’s like asking someone to give up an internal organ.

This is because values give us the importance we place in our financial decisions. For example, one partner may place a huge importance on security and planning. When the other may value thing like freedom or new experiences. So, the first person may want to maximize savings, and adhere strictly to a budget. The other person may want to spend more on vacations, a car or better quality food.

So, disagreements about money are often not about the money – they’re about values.

For more great Dinks articles, read these:

What Dave Ramsey’s Take On Marriage is Missing

Four Suggestions For Newly Married Couples

Getting Together, Getting Hitched