I know this is a dual income no kids personal finance blog, so it should go without saying that I never want to have kids. However something happened to me last weekend that just solidified my life choice is the right choice for me.
Last Friday my best friend and I decided to take a girls weekend away from our boyfriends and just hang out together doing nothing but watching movies, ordering room service and shopping. We decided to meet in a city in between where we both live so it would be convenient. I quickly booked a train from Montreal to Toronto and I was on my way to a nice, relaxing, long weekend.
Sitting across from me on the train was a young couple, with their very young daughter. After watching the mother try to keep her child quiet and calm for the better part of a five hour train ride and after watching the father gaze out the window for which I can only assume he was wishing to a higher power for a better life, it reaffirmed my decision as to why I never want to have kids.
I know there will probably be some backlash on everything I’m about to say, but this is my decision. I’m sure happy families all across the United States have a million reasons as to why they want to have kids, but it’s just not right for me.
Kids are a lot of work
I saw the young family in the train station and I remembered them because of the abundance of luggage they had and couldn’t seem to manage. By the time I boarded the train, had my ticket verified and started setting up my laptop the family barely made it on to the train, let alone to their seats. It must be hard to manage all your life’s belongings with a child in tow. That seems like a work commitment I just can’t make.
It’s expensive to have kids
By the time you add up the cost to have a child, raise a child and provide for them I’m sure the expenses related to having a kid are the same as (or even more than) buying a house. According to CNN Money the current average cost to raise a child is $245,000. I like to travel, eat out and just be able to spend money whenever or however I want to. I feel that financial freedom is taken away when you have kids.
You don’t have your own life anymore
I couldn’t even imagine my life if I had to rush home after work to cook dinner and help my children with homework. This is probably the biggest reason as to why I never want to have children. In all honesty, I’m just too selfish. My dad always says that when you have kids, you live for them. Every single time parents want to make a decision they have to take their children into consideration.
I just can’t give that kind of commitment to someone else.
Kristina Tahnyak
Tahnya is a Certified Financial Planner and former Investment Advisor turned marketing and communications professional She holds a degree from Concordia University, is debt free and currently works in the field of digital marketing.
I had exactly the same feelings until by accident, my wife and I found ourselves with child.
I have not known patience, compassion, or what it means to love until my son was born.
It changes you.
It changed me for the better. I am by far a much better person for having a child in my life… It was perhaps the starting point for me when I finally felt like a grown up adult rather than a lost/confused soul not knowing what to do next.
And now, as my parents age and need my help, the question arises, if you don’t have children, who will help/look after you when you’re old and infirm?
Good for you for recognizing this and for following through. Kids are a lot of work. Better you realize this now and not have any; than to have some and regret it. :)