They say that marriage is through good times and bad. I believe that’s true if all things are equal, but what happens when your status, income and accomplishments vary in a marriage? With inequality is there bound to be jealousy too?
Maybe jealousy is not the right word, maybe resentment is more adequate. But resentment sounds so negative and no one said that being jealous or resentful of your spouse is a bad thing. It’s only negative if you let the feelings take over the love in your relationship. Otherwise jealousy can just be a motivator to work harder, make more money and get on equal ground with your spouse.
Does one of you make more money?
I am thankful that my boyfriend Nick and I make approximately the same income, even though we work in completely different industries. We are both university educated and have been working since graduation.
Overall I’ve been working longer than Nick because I started working at 15 years old and he only started working after graduation. Nick’s family is definitely better off than mine and throughout college I was definitely jealous that he didn’t have to work but I did.
Having money makes life a little bit easier. Nick was lucky that his parents could afford to provide for him during college. He didn’t have to work and could therefore concentrate 100% on his school work. I worked full time during my four years in college and my grades definitely suffered because of it.
Does one of you have a more beneficial career?
I am thankful we are a dual income household, because I know some couple’s aren’t so lucky. However I have to admit that Nick’s job is a lot more flexible than mine. In IT he has the option to work from home whenever he wants, as long as there are no client meetings at the office. My job in digital marketing is the total opposite. We have to be at the office and can only work from home if need be.
I love the flexibility that Nick has with his job and I actually believe it’s a major advantage with his employer. Some employers don’t like their employees to work from home (looking at you Yahoo) because they think they will slack off, when in fact as an employee I can say that the total opposite is true.
If I could wake up at 9 am every day and start work I would be better rested than when I have to wake up at 7:30 am to get ready and commute to work. I would also appreciate my job a lot better if I could work from home because I’m more comfortable in my own space. It may be weird not to have to get dressed in office clothes everyday but I think I would prefer it.
Are you jealous of your spouse’s family?
As a child of divorce I have to admit, even at 33 years old, there are days I wish my parents were still happily married. Nick doesn’t have this problem because his parents have been happily married for over 35 years. New spouses and step families make life complicated and unbearable at times. I definitely wish my family was still in one piece.
Photo from my Flickr
Kristina Tahnyak
Tahnya is a Certified Financial Planner and former Investment Advisor turned marketing and communications professional She holds a degree from Concordia University, is debt free and currently works in the field of digital marketing.
I am jealous of his ability to cook and some of his social skills, and his self confidence. I used to be jealous of his family, but time and wisdom has cured me of that – I’ll take mine any day.
My husband makes quite a bit more money than me and I think I’d say I’m grateful rather than jealous. We always say that it doesn’t matter which one of is making more money as long as someone is! I’m thankful that our skills complement each other–we definitely employ the divide and conquer method for managing our household.
There are things that I would say I am jealous of when it comes to my significant other. I make that jealousy grow into motivation and inspiration to do bigger things for myself and I believe it makes me stronger overall.