The biggest money mistake I ever made was spending for others

Good morning Dinks.  As you know I am all about becoming a better me.  I am always trying to improve my career by going back to school and taking night classes and trying to live healthy by watching what I eat and spending as much time outdoors as I can.  I am the first to admit my flaws because it gives me a chance to change.  You know what they say, you can’t make improvements until you admit there is a problem.

Spending for others is a big money mistake

I like improving myself not because it makes me more likable to other people, but because it helps me become a better me and that helps my personal happiness.  I am always working towards growing as a person because it helps my mental state and although that is a totally selfish reason I don’t really care.  After all we are all a little bit selfish, aren’t we?

One of the major aspects of my life that I have improved over the years is my financial situation.  I got into debt because I was trying to keep up with the Jones’ aka my friends and in my 20s I didn’t know any better.  I didn’t know that I shouldn’t care what other people think; so I did anything and everything to be liked, which I thought would make me happy.  I spent my afternoons shopping  with friends and my evenings eating out with whoever was free because I thought that being popular equaled being happy.  But the truth is that I was just filling a void.

Spending is a band-aid for a bigger problem

When I realized that I was way over my head I sat back and started to think, really think about why I was spending the money.  The truth – as shallow as it may sound – is that I thought it would make people like me.  I wanted to have a cute apartment that was always filled with candles and smelt good because I wanted it to be a place for people to hang out.   I wanted to make reservations at the trendiest restaurant because I wanted to be the life of the party and I wanted to have nice clothes because I always wanted to be the girl who everyone wanted to hang out with.  I came to realise several years and several thousands of dollars later that this was a huge mistake, bigger than I knew at the time.

My money, not your money

Now at 33 and debt free I focus my spending on me.  I use my money to do things that honestly make me happy and I usually do them alone.  I spend my money travelling  to new places and trying new experiences.  It gives me a break from my normal routine life and it lets me enjoy my money on experiences rather than material stuff.  Now that I am older and wiser – at least financially – I came to realize that having nice clothes and the perfect apartment really don’t matter.  Although I still get secretly jealous when I see the girl in the office who is always dressed like she just walked out of a fashion magazine.

Photo by lendingmemo

Kristina Tahnyak

Tahnya is a Certified Financial Planner and former Investment Advisor turned marketing and communications professional She holds a degree from Concordia University, is debt free and currently works in the field of digital marketing.