Good morning Dinks. I am not sure if it’s just my group of friends or it’s my entire generation but it seems like less and less people are getting married. Nowadays it is considered traditional to live at home with your parents until you get married. Young couples are moving in together and starting a life together without the ring on their finger and I am wondering if that is smart or stupid?
Yesterday in the grocery store I saw a young couple at a checkout arguing about the price of their groceries and I instantly knew that they were a newly cohabited couple. Neither one of them had a wedding ring on their finger and they weren’t talking like roommates so they must have been new Dinks.
Do you remember when you first became a Dink?
It takes time to adjust to living with someone; it also takes time to adjust to merged finances. Even if you don’t open a joint bank account if you live together then you have joint bills and expenses each and every month.
When my younger sister first moved in with her boyfriend she was always talking about how great it was to be living together. I always told her wait until the end of the month until you get your first bill and then let me know if your relationship is still great.
They must have worked it out because three moves, two houses and a dog later they are still happily together and still not married.
I am sure that all couples who have been together for a long time can agree – sometimes you just have to let things go. Relationships are a give and take and sometimes (actually most of the time) it’s just not worth fighting about. Younger couples have to learn that being right or having the last word is not worth the strain that arguing can put on your relationship.
There has to be a decision maker in the house
The person in charge of your monthly income and expenses is usually just a matter of personalities. If one person in the couple has a stronger personality, if one person is more organized or if one person in a couple is better at managing money then they may naturally take control of the family finances – and that’s just normal.
Complementing personalities in a couple are very common. I am very loud and always talking whereas my boyfriend Nick is very quiet. It works out well because if we were both always talking we wouldn’t hear anything that the other person is saying.
The same is true about money. If you are good with money and your spouse is not then you should manage the finances and hopefully your good habits will rub off on your spouse.
I find that sharing money with someone is motivation to become financially responsible. Saving for a couple’s vacation, saving for the down payment on your home or budgeting wisely can all come easy when you are doing it with someone that you love.
Photo by Laurelsphotos
Kristina Tahnyak
Tahnya is a Certified Financial Planner and former Investment Advisor turned marketing and communications professional She holds a degree from Concordia University, is debt free and currently works in the field of digital marketing.
I think giving and taking is important in any relationship, not just for DINKs. My wife and I lived together for a few months before we were married (but we were already engaged) and it went really well. Being that we knew we were getting married, we began combining everything as soon as we moved in together. Looking back this may not have been the smartest decision, but it worked out for us.
That was one thing that was pretty easy by starting our relationship so young…we never had the merging money problems. We started dating at 18, got engaged at 19, got married at 21/22 (I am 6 months older), so our fights are about the level of fairness on our chores and crap like that. It was always a given that I’d manage the money since I like it and he doesn’t. :-)
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