Are you better off married?

Good morning Dinks.  It’s that time of the year again, the time of the year when young ladies my age are sending out their wedding invitations for their summer weddings.  Apparently I am at that age when I should be getting married, getting pregnant and settling down.  It seems like everywhere I turn and every time I open my mail box I am receiving another invitation to attend someone’s baby shower or wedding.

I thought that the wave of my friends and co-workers getting married and having babies was over, but I guess that I was wrong. So yet again I am going to dance the night away and smile my way through another summer of weddings and baby showers.  But what should I do if my happily ever after doesn’t include a house, two kids and all of the financial stress that comes along with it?

One of my co-workers got married to the man of her dreams last year and now she is blissfully pregnant and expecting her first child.  Three years ago my co-worker was complaining about how she had no money; some days she would even cry about how much debt she had and now only a year later she is debt free.  I know that marriage means you are supposed to share everything with your spouse and live happily ever after, but what if the only thing your spouse has is debt?

Debt may be a deal breaker

I feel that this is why couples should talk about finances, goals and money before they get married because no one likes an unpleasant surprise after they have already put a ring on their loved ones finger.

I know that some people get married for money and I don’t think that this is the whole story in my co-workers case.  I truly believe that my co-worker is happily married but I also believe that money is a big part of her happiness.  She no longer has the stress of being thousands of dollars in debt; she now enjoys having access to a bank account with two incomes and a husband who never says no.

After dating for years and finally getting married in her 40s my co-worker has found happiness with a man who is financially stable and willing to share his comfy money cushion with his wife. Is he a good husband or is he just a sucker?

Maybe a spouse feels obligated

This is surprisingly not the first time that one of my co-workers (at the bank) has married a man who willingly pays off their debt.  I have another co-worker has been married for several years now, when she was still dating her now-husband many years ago he paid all of their monthly expenses (including the mortgage) so that she could focus on paying off her student loans and other debt.

This man didn’t hand over fists full of money, but he did let his girlfriend live rent free for many years so that she could become debt free.  Should one spouse put financial stress on them self so that the other spouse can reap the financial rewards? I am not so sure.

Photo by DieselDemon

Kristina Tahnyak

Tahnya is a Certified Financial Planner and former Investment Advisor turned marketing and communications professional She holds a degree from Concordia University, is debt free and currently works in the field of digital marketing.