Are you having a threesome?

Good Morning Dinks.  Who (or what) is the last thing that you think about before you fall asleep at night and who (or what) is the first thing that you think about when you wake up in the morning? Maybe you think about the person lying beside you in bed, or maybe your mind is wondering off thinking about someone or something else. So what do you dream about every night?

If you are lying in bed thinking about different ways to earn income, if you are analyzing your investment portfolio, if you are thinking about filing your taxes or if you are making mental notes to pay your bills then money may be the third person in your relationship.

How often do you think about money in your relationship?

It is said that the person who preoccupies our thoughts is the person that we are in a relationship with and for some of us that is not our spouse. Money definitely has a presence in everything we do because whether we are finding creative ways to get it or convincing ourselves not to spend it we are always thinking about money.

Sometimes our love of money is more than just thoughts; sometimes it actually comes between us and our spouse.  Last night at dinner as your spouse was telling you about their day at work, what were you thinking about? Maybe you were listening to your loved one, but maybe you were calculating how much money you spent during the day or how much money you spent on gas to fill up your car this morning.

Do you let money into your relationship?

Think about the last time that you argued with your spouse, what did you disagree about? Most likely the argument was about money.  Maybe it wasn’t directly related to your couple’s money, but maybe it had a subtle money undertone.  If you disagreed about travelling, visiting friends, taking a vacation or your spouse’s need to add more channels to your satellite package, look below the surface and read between the lines because you were probably arguing about money.

So how do you solve it? I think it’s hard not to let money come into your relationship because it plays a direct or indirect part in everything that we do in life.  The key to successfully being in a relationship with both our spouse and our money is to find a balance between the two.

Can you find a healthy balance between love and money?

Focus on your money but make your spouse the number one priority.  You can have tons of money but it won’t buy you the perfect gift on Valentine’s Day and it won’t caress you and keep you warm at night. Before you sit down to check your bank accounts and add up your spending for the day ask your spouse how their day was.

Appreciate your money but love your spouse.  It’s nice to watch your bank account build up, but it’s also nice to watch your spouse grow as a person. Cherish your relationship and don’t take your spouse for granted because they if they feel neglected they may not always be around.  Before you go over your bills give your spouse a kiss and tell them that you love them.

Photo by carbonnyc

Kristina Tahnyak

Tahnya is a Certified Financial Planner and former Investment Advisor turned marketing and communications professional She holds a degree from Concordia University, is debt free and currently works in the field of digital marketing.