Have You Become Your Spouse?

Good Morning DINKS.  As we spend more and more time with the same people we may adopt their gestures and their habits.  As the years pass by and our marriages (or relationships in my case) grow older are you adopting the habits of your spouse?  Think about yourself before you were in a couple and think about yourself now as a DINK, have you changed? If you are now different as a DINK then you were when you were single, are your personality changes attributed to getting older, or are they attributed to your spouse?

Have you adapted the hobbies and interests of your spouse? I admit that my personal interests have changed because of my boyfriend Nick.  I pretend to be interested in sports because he is a huge sports fan.  I try to watch Pardon The Interruption (PTI) with him every night, and I try to chit chat about the daily sports news. I would much rather be watching and episode of Friends, but I make an effort to try and live in his world which is dominated by sports.

Have your spending habits changed since you became a DINK?  The great thing about being a DINK is that we are never alone and there is always someone to balance us out.  If we are a spender and our spouse is a saver then our overall finances will balance out.  If we were used to spending money on ourselves when we were single, now that we are a DINK maybe we spend money on purchases that both people in our couple can use and benefit from.

My spending habits have changed over the last few years but that is because I have grown up into a financially responsible thirty-something from a former young, irresponsible, and carefree twenty-something.  I prefer to see the money build up in my bank accounts instead of see the material things clutter up my apartment.  My money mentality has definitely also changed since I have been in a couple with my boyfriend Nick.  Now I spend money on essential household items or decor for our apartment; other than my reading books, I really don’t spend money on things that only I want or only I can use.

Have your retirement goals changed?  They may have added your spouse, but have they really changed?  I am saving for my retirement, but I so far I have no plans for my retirement.

Do you only hang out with other DINKS? My social habits have changed since I became a DINK, but my circle of friends has not.  I spend more time at home as a DINK than I did outside when I was single, but that is because I like spending time in my apartment with my boyfriend.  My regular group of friends has not changed, and it consists mostly of single women in their late 20’s and early 30’s.  We have been friends for a long time and I would never give up my friends just because I have a boyfriend.

However I am sad to say that my Dad is a different story.  Since becoming a couple with his girlfriend (aka the Step Witch) he spends less time with his friends and more time with her friends and her family.  We all make choices in life, sometimes those choices are for the better and sometimes those choices are for our spouse.

Photo by Whologwhy

Kristina Tahnyak

Tahnya is a Certified Financial Planner and former Investment Advisor turned marketing and communications professional She holds a degree from Concordia University, is debt free and currently works in the field of digital marketing.