Learning to Manage Money in a Couple

As a DINK I definitely (most of the time) love being in a relationship and (most of the time) I love living with my boyfriend Nick.  The major advantage of being a DINK is that we (are lucky enough to) have two steady incomes; our expenses are cut in half and our savings are doubled.  However, this was not always the case. I think back to my single days and almost everything about my savings habits, my spending habits, my biweekly budget, and my financial priorities have changed.

Single Money vs. Married Money

I didn’t live on my own for a long time before I started living with Nick, only about a year and a half, but I was definitely set in my financial ways, as well as my living ways for that matter.  When we became a couple I had to make some quick adjustments to my money management and my personal habits if I wanted to stay in my relationship. My money became Our money, and before I made a purchase I asked myself if We really needed it.  My money mentality completely changed to include Nick, Our Apartment, Our Groceries, and Our joint expenses.

Nick and I grew up together so we were learning to be financial individuals at the same time that we were learning to live financially in a couple.  I worked part time while I was in high school and I did know about money, but I didn’t really understand money. I knew that it cost money to buy everyday items such as groceries, toiletries and home furnishings, but I didn’t really understand the value of these items…until I started paying for them.  While I was growing up these everyday items were just always magically there when I needed them.  It wasn’t until I moved out of my parent’s house that I actually started to learn the value of everyday items.

Sharing all costs with my boyfriend Nick has allowed me to build my individual savings.  We keep our bank accounts, retirement savings plans, and other assets separate; but we do share all expenses.  This allows me to continue holding my own individual savings and investment style while still being in a couple.

Kristina + Nick = US

Although it may sometimes seem that Nick and I live separate lives, our expenses are very much combined.  Someone in our building actually thought that we were roommates, and not a couple in an 11 year relationship.

I like our couple money management strategy and I wouldn’t change anything in our relationship moneywise.  We don’t necessarily split everything right down the middle, but it all evens out in the end.  If we are going to a football game with Nicks friends he pays for the tickets.  If we are eating out at a restaurant for my friend’s birthday then I pick up the check.

Nick and I have joint debts but we keep our assets separate.  The only assets that we hold jointly are assets such as our car, which we both use.  Whenever Nick and I take the next huge step in our lives and we finally agree to buy a home that will also be a joint asset.  Nick and I hold joint assets when there is debt attached to it, this is because we consider those assets as an expense.

I am happy that I learned to manage my couple money at the same time that I learned to manage my individual money.  When I think about my single days I definitely find a new found love for my relationship.  I wouldn’t want to become a single income again after having a taste of the good life as a DINK.

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Photo by Images of Money

Kristina Tahnyak

Tahnya is a Certified Financial Planner and former Investment Advisor turned marketing and communications professional She holds a degree from Concordia University, is debt free and currently works in the field of digital marketing.